Ectopic Pregnancy

I have been dreading writing this post since I began my blog. But I need to do it. I want to help others.

It was the summer of 2022, a Thursday night, I was to get my period earlier in the week, but did not get it. I was on some different medicines this cycle, so I was not sure how that was effecting me, but I said to my husband ‘if I wake up tomorrow and haven’t started my period, I’m gonna take a pregnancy test’. I know this was a risky thing for my heart to do – there was many times that I thought I might be pregnant, only to take a test and find out I was not. something was different this time. So, Friday morning, I woke up, and took a pregnancy test. I waited patiently for a very long 5 minutes. When the time was up, I went to check the test, there was a very faint line! I grabbed my husband, let out a squeal and cried. We were finally pregnant. all the what ifs, whens and maybe are now real times! this was happening! We could hardly control our excitement, we did not want to go to work – but thankfully it was a Friday, only one day to get though till the weekend was and we could let it soak in.

That weekend was great, we were starting to let it soak in. The shift that happens when you are pregnant after trying for awhile is weird, all this time of planning ‘when I’m pregnant’ could finally come to be, it was happening and we needed to adjust our life accordingly.

Tuesday morning we had an appointment with the doctor, we discussed the success of my pregnancy and what to do next to move forward. Everyone had an extra spring in their step, we could feel their happiness for us.

Unfortunately the happiness did not last long, Wednesday morning I woke up not feeling well, and was spotting. I decided to go to work because it seemed to be getting better, but I was at work a few hours when I got very sick and needed to come home again. I was bleeding a lot, I was fairly certain I had lost the baby. This was so heartbreaking for us, we did not even get to tell our closest family and friends that we were pregnant only to loose the baby.

The Doctor was sure that I miscarried, but continued to watch my blood levels. I am so thankful for this attention to detail, because I never thought anything else other then my levels going down could happen. I continued to have my blood drawn 3 times a week to track my levels. In the beginning my levels (hcg) doubled like normal, after my first sickness and bleeding then declined – really only pointing to a miscarriage. thankfully because of the diligence of my doctor, they continued to monitor my levels and noticed that it started to rise again. so, I was still pregnant?

The next days were filled with blood work and ultrasounds, they could not find the gestational sac in my womb, but with me being so early, it could be there and so tiny. We prayed for an ultrasound that could spot the embryo so that we could know the location of it.

About a week after my initial sickness and bleeding, my levels continued to go up and the local OBGYN that I was going to mentioned the concern for it being an ectopic pregnancy. The doctor met with us on a Friday afternoon to go over this possibility. We discussed everything that had happened and she probed my stomach. I had no sharp pain or concerns, so she pretty much dismissed the possibility that I had an ectopic and resolved that it was a miscarriage that was not completed yet. Her plan was to have blood work done again on Monday, and if it had risen again, then we would need to proceed with treating it as an ectopic.

Monday’s blood work results came back as higher then the previous test. I was to be treated for an ectopic pregnancy. I wanted to know for sure in my heart before being treated that my baby was not in my womb. So I requested another ultrasound that did show that it was in my Fallopian tube. We were devastated knowing that the pregnancy that I was carrying could not continue, and were faced with the reality that my life was also now in danger.

We went to the emergency room to be treated with a shot of Methotrexate, this was in hopes to save my tube and forgo surgery. I took some time off of work to grief our loss and to heal physically. With the embryo growing in my tube, there was a risk of it bursting and me bleeding internally, it would be a life threatening situation that would need immediate surgery.

A couple weeks went by and my levels were dropping as needed, this means the medication was working and I was on the way to healing (or so I thought). I had continued to bleed, but they started to have sever bleeding. this concerned me and I reached out to my doctor. We did an ultrasound to see what was going on. it was not good. My Fallopian tube had enlarged and was full of blood, I needed to have surgery, soon. The next day I went in for a surgery where they removed my tube. I also got diagnosed with stage 4 endometriosis.

As I reflect on the uncertainties of the times before I was diagnosed with an ectopic, I see Gods hand on us. The fact that we could have surgery so quickly, with one of the best endometriosis surgeons around reassured us that God was with us. At times I am mad at God, why would he allow this to happen? But I remember a story I heard of someone else going thought a hard time, when they we angry at God for their situation, they saw a tear running down his cheek – he was hurting, just like us. When we are going though something hard – God is with us, and he hurts with us, he is our comforter. 1 Corinthians 1:3-4 Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort,  who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God. The Lord is close to us in our troubles, and he comforts us.